Tuesday, November 07, 2006

U.S. Presidents Who are Funny on Purpose

Maybe he just got a new speechwriter who was laid off by The Colbert Report.

From Former President Clinton's remarks at a Jim Webb for Senate Rally, Alexandria, VA:

The campaign that has been run against Jim Webb is just the most grotesque example of this formula they're running all around the country.
It goes something like this. This is their message. Pretend I'm their guy. No, no, wait, wait.
OK, we really messed up. I mean, this Iraq deal didn't work out too good and now we've put Afghanistan at risk. And we probably shouldn't have put that horse show association guy in charge of FEMA before Katrina.
And you know, it was embarrassing when our senior White House aide that dealt with Mr. Abramoff had to go to prison.
But Karl Rove didn't know him very well. He only had 485 contacts with the White House.
And he's shy, Karl is. You've got to know him 486 times before he knows you.
And you know, we did get attacked by six federal judges in the last two months for flagrantly and deliberately violating the law and the environmental areas. But what the heck? We're in power. What's the law?
Yeah, we've got a lot of problems, but you still have to vote for us, because my opponent is a slug, and they're going to tax you into the poorhouse.
On the way to the poorhouse, you'll meet a terrorist on every street corner.
And when you try to run away from that terrorist, you will trip over an illegal immigrant.

You can't vote for him.
I mean, is that it?
Now, the only good thing about that outrageous attack on Jim Webb's books is that somebody from the other side had to read a book.
As a candidate, Jim Webb has already done more to advance the education of those Republicans than they have in six years in power.


Well, I found it funny, anyway, even though I thank my lucky stars every day that I don't live in Virginia and have to choose between a misogynist and a racist (not that Virginia is the only state offering that particular choice, just the most blatant example.)

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